Science Teacher

The 8th grade science teacher, Mrs Parks, asked her class, "Which human
body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?"

No one answered until little Mary stood up angrily and said, "You should
not be asking eighth-graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my
parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!" With a
sneer on her face, she then sat back down.

Mrs Parks ignored her and asked the question again: "Which body part
increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"

Little Mary's mouth fell open. She said to those around her, "Boy is she
going to get in big trouble!"

The teacher continued to ignore her and asked the class, "Anybody?"

Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and replied, "The body
part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."

"Very good, Billy," said Mrs Parks. Then, turning to Mary, she said: "As
for you, young lady, I have three things to say. One, you have a dirty mind.
Two, you didn't read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very,
very disappointed."

Sunscreen? What Sunscreen?

Yes, I did slather on tons of sunscreen before going into the Water Park in the Big City. FYI: No matter how many tons you slather on, if you're lily white like me YOU WILL BURN.

I BURN.

But it was a super fantastic family day today. My occasionally chicken hearted son tried every waterslide at least once. I, the altitude challenged (read: Fraidy Cat in High Spots), only freaked out a little just once and I hid it really well.

We arrived early and went through the wildlife/nature park first. We had the absolute perfect under the shade backed in parking spot. We came out at 11:30 to a still cool car and our picnic lunch. Hesitant to lose the Perfect Parking Spot, we hiked across to the Water Park. We secured a locker for our towels (and a few minutes later, our shoes) and started off to the water slides.

Little guy got nervous stomach pangs after the very first water slide, but fortunately did not actually get sick. We went to the wave pool where he recovered slightly. We then found another waterslide where large tubes are employed. The boy felt he could handle those. He did handle them quite well, but worried all the way up to the top of the tower 'til he had a headache. He took aspirin and was fine and far more adventurous for the rest of the day.

While not the best part of the day, definitely part of that perfect family day was the lack of horrific traffic and smooth easy ride home. We stopped at Albertsons in Ocala and got an 8 piece chicken meal deal which included rolls and 1 lb. macaroni salad for only $5.99 -once again I regretted that our only store in Mayberry is Wally Freakin' World. I didn't even have to cook at all today.

We came home exhausted and took naps. I woke to the uncomfortable reality of my sunburn and the badly scraped knee from when the inner tube slung me out upside down to hit the bottom of the 4 foot pool at the end of the water slide.

PS: I am the ONLY ONE who did get sunburned. Small son is brown as a berry. Hubby -more deeply and evenly tanned than ever. I -Hibiscus Red! The outrage. The injustice. I don't care I had fun.

Nigritude Ultramarine

Does anyone here know what Nigritude Ultramarine is? I first learned of it at Wayne's Giggly Blog, but am still not entirely clear. 'Course I haven't had a whole bunch of time to read up on it either.

Please be sure and review my post below as well. It's very important that as many people as possible see Jason's picture and share it with as many others as possible. His family is terribly anxious, and convinced something must be wrong to not hear from him for so long. They were quite close and tight knit, which is rare nowadays.

This is a Public Service Announcement

A good friend from church, Mrs. Bea Terault, has been telling me for some time about her grandson who has been missing (or at least not in contact with any family member) since the California wildfires. I asked her to get me a picture and some basic statistics.

I'm asking you my readers to pass this information on to as many people as you can. We're hoping that everything is fine with Jason and that he just has been too busy to get in touch with home. If you recognize this young man, please give me your contact information in the comments section below. If you are willing to post his picture on your site as well, please get in touch with me. His family (all over the country) is very worried and would just like to know that he is well.


Jason M. Dragon
D.O.B. 10/17/73
Last known address:
3717 Los Feliz Blvd #24
Los Angeles, CA 90027

All good intentions go to heck when...

No matter how much time and attention one puts toward keeping up with the housework and cooking awesome meals, after a couple of weeks of that, you're inevitably a little burnt out and let things go. For one day.

The house now looks almost like a tornado has blown through. Tonight and tomorrow will be big cleaning/cooking and resetting domestic bliss days.

Another two hours spent in the garden this morning. And miles to go before I sleep. And miles to go before I sleep.

Tomorrow morning, 6:30 appointment with the beds. Don't ever let anyone tell you that Live Oaks are gorgeous easily maintained trees. They are the spawn of evil. The leaves are smallish and do not lend themselves to brisk easy raking. They slip between the tines of any rake. Areas raked must be re-raked around 300 kajillion times. My hands ache in Carpal Tunnel Hell. More raking tomorrow.

The good news: All of the gardens are looking better and better all of the time. Dozens of peppers are ripening on their plants, the melon vines are covered in little yellow blossoms, the tomato plants are getting stronger every day. The bad news: It's a continuous job. It never ends. Water, feed, rake, weed. The story of my life.

The other good news: One day soon we'll have more home grown produce than we can possibly eat.

Water Games

Ya know, there's something to be said for maintaining that little kid that still lives in you even when you're in your thirties to forties. Keeps you alive -I mean spiritually alive. Makes every single minute of the day to day dull spots worthwhile.

This evening when hubby pulled in from work I was out watering my roses, hibiscus, lilies, etc. He unloaded his lunch cooler, thermos, etc. from the truck and then rather than rushing into the house, he went around back to get some soil to put around the base of a boxwood that we're trying to bring back. When he came back around I was in the vegetable garden/melon patch with the hose. He asked me to fill his gallon jug with water.

I told him it would cost him 15 kisses. He kissed me twice and then tried to walk away. So I SPRAYED HIM with the hose. Oh, what fun we had. 15 minutes later we yelled into the house for my son to bring towels. We were completely soaked. I had to do a load of laundry right away, but it was all worth it. Especially when my son came to the back door shaking his head at us standing there dripping on the mat. "WHAT did you guys DO?!?!?!" he reprimanded us. We smirked and giggled and our boy said, "You're gonna get everything wet." We laughed more.

After all these years together, we still play like kids. I loved it. We both did. My son was kind of knocked out by it. But it's good for him to see his parents play and have fun together.

MY BLOGGER IDOL PICKS FOR WEEK 16

In case you didn't read my entry earlier this week, Week 16's Blogger Idol theme is HOME. We were encouraged to blog on this theme in whatever media we choose -essay, stories, photos, poetry, whatever one's little heart desires. As long as it applies to the theme. After reading this week's entries, I chose the following as my favorites:

Matt whose prose is impressive to say the least.

Cliff (who showed that Home is not always a place that inspires the warm fuzzies.

Phisch who had the most original entry this week in the form of a photo.

Peter (his family)

Judith whose entry I could really relate to.

And good ol' Gary for adding the general silliness factor.

Heaven forbid we should have a system in place to avoid another VOTING crisis this election year like the one in 2000...

Today, a Judge dismissed a Florida Voting Lawsuit. The suit was insisting that voters should be able to receive a printed receipt assuring that their vote would be counted. Considering the crap that hit the fan four years ago, this would seem to be quite a good idea. I Certainly don't want another year of BASH. I can't even afford to fill my gas tank anymore (2.05/gallon WTF!?!?).

I'd love to be able to have people come forward with their receipts if there is another crapfest like in 2000. The Judge dismissed the case based on this, "The congressman's complaint in state court was thrown out because the judge ruled that Wexler could not show that he had been injured by the voting system."

Well, I've got news for you JUDGEYPOO, I can prove I've been injured by having that SHRUB in office. Get with it.

If you'd like to read THE WHOLE STORY, click that little ol' link.

Ya know ya blog too much if...

...Your apartment begins to look like this:



NO! That is not my place. My place is pretty. AND if my place ever got THAT nasty, I'm sure I'd find myself Suddenly Single. I found those pics at MOST EMAILED

So, lately if I've seemed to post a lot less, it's only cuz I don't want to be that STANKY!

Rain, Rain Come this Way

Rain, rain come this way,

Don't wait another day,

Little seedlings need you today.

Rain, Rain come this way.

My rose bushes were doing great. UNTIL THIS WEEK. No rain at all. I've been watering every two days, but apparently in 90 degree weather that's not enough. My pretty little rosebuds are drooping on their limbs. They look so sad and desperate. I did the Miracle Grow thing yesterday because I felt sorry for all of my plants. I mixed up 30 gallons in empty 1 gallon Spring Water bottles. In case you're wondering, it took forever AND my left hand has the slight bluish green tint of Miracle Grow crystals. I don't have a green thumb, but I do have a very green index finger. I've scrubbed my hands 7 times with antibacterial soap. The rest of the hand went white again. The index finger is STILL green.

On the upside, my watermelon and cantaloupes have their first little yellow blossoms and my peppers have a mixture of little white flowers and little baby peppers. I'm just going crazy bending at my deteriorating (really, clinically deteriorating) knees to water every day. A little rain would be a huge relief. Usually June begins our daily 3:00 p.m. thunderstorms. I wouldn't complain if they started today. I have actually been literally praying for rain. I never would have thought that I would want rain.

I do have Cherokee and Iroquois roots. I wonder if they ever did the rain dance? I wonder if it would work for me with my minimal Native American blood?

Holy Crap! She's finally remembered to post to her blog!

Actually, I hadn't forgotten about blogging. I've just been out of control busy. And not even in the wildly fun way. Last week was all about getting AC people out here to give estimates. This week was all about preparing for them to come work on the AC and then they actually were here ALL DAY Wednesday. Wednesday afternoon I developed a murderous sinus headache -which would have quickly dispersed if the predicted thunderstorms had made their appearance thereby reducing the atmospheric pressure. Instead, I suffered with it endlessly all night Wednesday night and all day Thursday.

Thursday the AC guys had to come back -I figure it was my sparkling personality, my twinkling eyes, and generally lovely self, but they said it was to replace the air intake grill so that it would stop sounding as if a jet plane were taking off from my bedroom. Either way they were here for a couple of hours. Then, the General Manager came by afterwards to check their work.

I was incredibly impressed by the fact that when he learned they'd made an error in their favor, he pointed it out to me and told me it would immediately be rectified. Apparently the CSR in the office had incorrectly prepared the invoice. She had indicated a lesser model of condenser where I had chosen the upgraded model. Had the GM not pointed it out, we would never have known. But in the meantime, I'll be spending another day with Jim Bob and Johnny (yes, their real names -didn't I tell you I live in Mayberry?) on Monday.

The kid is finally out of school so I should be back faithfully blogging daily in no time at all. Tomorrow we'll be going up to the college town of Gainesville (Go Gators!) to the Museum of Natural History. We're bringing our fossils with us for identification by the Paleontologist who will be on hand for that day only. We have a couple that we'd like more information on. If you've been reading me for more than a month, you probably remember my pictures of the prehistoric sharks tooth. Since then hubby has brought home what appear to be prehistoric whale's teeth, a prehistoric crab and a VERY LARGE prehistoric shell. While we do have vague ideas about those items, we'd still like to see what the Paleontologist has to say. I'm hoping to get treated to a good meal out in the mean time, though I am tempted to just pack a picnic -I hate crowded restaurants which is what you get on a Saturday in a college town.

Sunday the church is hosting a big end of year party for all of the Religious Ed kids and we're no doubt going to be tied to the grill or the cotton candy machine or the nacho machine or the popcorn machine or..... for a while. If we survive that, there's tons of gardening and Miracle Grow-ing to do. Blah. Busy Weekend ahead. Tonight I'm doing things up Fish Fry style -Popcorn Shrimp, Battered Filets, Hushpuppies, French Fries, etc. I think we'll eat in front of the TV while watching Green Acres -though why we watch it when we live it daily is beyond me.

Lately I've felt a little dry in the creative area, so if you have anything you'd like me to blog about or that you want to ask me, or a writing suggestion, or something you'd like to see more of in my blog let me know. Of course I'll still be writing what I feel like writing, but your suggestions might stir my creative juices. BESIDES, I BLOG FOR COMMENTS! =D

Bless YOU!

They walked in tandem, each of the ninety-three students filing into
the already crowded auditorium.

With rich maroon gowns flowing and the traditional caps, they looked
almost as grown up as they felt.

Dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles, and moms freely brushed away
tears.


This class would not pray during the commencements ----- not by choice
but because of a recent court ruling prohibiting it.

The principal and several students were careful to stay within the
guidelines allowed by the ruling.

They gave inspirational and challenging speeches, but no one mentioned
divine guidance and no one asked for blessings on the graduates or
their families.

The speeches were nice, but they were routine.......until the final
speech received a standing ovation.
A solitary student walked proudly to the microphone.
He stood still and silent for just a moment, and then, it happened.
All 92 students, every single one of them, suddenly SNEEZED!!!!
The student on stage simply looked at the audience and said, "GOD BLESS
YOU," each and every one of you!" And he walked off stage...

The audience exploded into applause. The graduating class had found a
unique way to invoke God's blessing on their future with or without the
court's approval!

Honey, You may have to come downtown to pick me up...

This one is hilarious. My first thought was, does his wife know where he was and what he was doing? My next thought was, Who would marry a freak job like this?


Police: Greasy Man in Petroleum Jelly Jam

BINGHAMTON, N.Y. (AP) - Roger Chamberlain may have thought he gave police the slip when he switched motels. But when authorities found the man slathered head-to-toe in petroleum jelly, they knew they had their man.

Authorities said a Motel 6 cleaning crew discovered a petroleum jelly mess on mattresses, bedding, a TV set, furniture, carpeting and towels in Chamberlain's room after he checked out last week. Damage was put at more than $1,000.

Fourteen empty petroleum jelly jars and numerous pornographic magazines were fished out of the trash can, according to WNBF radio in Binghamton.

Shortly afterward, a sheriff's deputy tracked down Chamberlain to a nearby motel, finding the 44-year-old Virginia man entirely covered in the greasy ointment, authorities said.

Chamberlain was charged with criminal mischief May 9, and was released on his own recognizance. An attempt to reach Chamberlain by telephone Monday was not immediately successful.

My HOME is Heart Sighs (Size)

The air conditioner buzzes in the window beside the bed. The flickering glow of the television screen casts odd shadows. On the baby monitor I hear the susuration of my boy's slumberous rhythm. A strong hand reaches out from under the body warmed sheet to clasp my chilled fingers. My heart swells in a sigh of contentment.

Home is more than a building, a town, a place to sleep, to leave your belongings. The size of my home is not about square footage, dollars and cents, bricks and mortar. My home isn't in a set location. My home lives in the bosom of my family. My families love is my sheltering roof. The foundation of my home lies on my husband's strong shoulders, my son's spontaneous hugs, the soul-reaching knowledge that God gave me my only true home -my family.

Humbly submitted for your perusal, my week 16 entry. If you've never participated in Blogger Idol, why not give it a try. This week's theme is "HOME" and you may interpret it in any way you like. For official rules, or to read other entries, click here:

Mom, what's an impure thought?

Yeah, that was just the question I wanted to explain at 7:00 a.m. on a Saturday. Why weren't these things explained in Communion class? No, actually, I do think that's my responsibility as a parent, but (jeez) what a way to get blindsided by your kid. Who wants to explain impure thoughts?

Today, my son will be making his first Confession. This is in preparation for tomorrow when he will be receiving his First Holy Communion. I'd love to be a fly on the wall to hear some of the sins that will be confessed by 7, 8, and 9 year olds this morning. What a terrific giggly post that would make.

So I'll be leaving here shortly to go to the First Communion retreat with my son. I'm bringing along the latest Koontz paperback and I have a lady from church bringing me some trilogy novel. I have no idea of the title or author and have no idea of her genre preferences, so this will be a real treat. She was generous enough to offer to loan the books to me when I mentioned that the Mayberry library had already closed for the day yesterday and I didn't get in there in time to exchange my books. I'm someone who cannot be without reading materials. In Mayberry on Fridays and Saturdays the library is only open until noon. It's closed Sundays. I'll undoubtedly be finished with the Koontz novel either today or early tomorrow. I always read Koontz quickly.

AC Update:

I currently have three window units from our old apartment up North stuck in the windows and it's nice and cool in here, but I have concerns for energy costs and security concerns with those things in the windows, so I'm chomping at the bit to get the old Central unit replaced. We have obtained two more estimates -which were about $3000 cheaper than the first (Thank God). Thanks to you guys for letting me know that I wasn't crazy and those prices were way out of range. I think that guy was trying to make his entire commission for the month off of my one sale. The only thing we're waiting for now, is my husband wants to see which company is offering the best interest rate/rebate deal. We think the Lennox guy is the best, but hubby wants to know their interest rate before we finalize that. I've e-mailed them (yesterday at noon) and am desperately waiting for their response. If all goes well, we'll have it installed on Wednesday, if I have to wait much longer for a response from the finance company, it could be at least another week. Pray for us. =D

Would YOUR Dad want crayons for Fathers' Day?

I only ask this because I get the following e-mailed Fathers' Day gift suggestions from Binney & Smith:


May Is Here!
It's May and with that comes warmer weather, as well as a countdown to summer and the need to plan for many upcoming celebrations! The CrayolaStore.com has an assortment of gift ideas for your all of your special occasions!

Celebrate the special man in your life with colorful gifts from The CrayolaStore.com!

Custom 64 Box
Does Dad have a favorite sports team? Whether it's baseball, football, hockey or any other sport, you can send your dad his favorite team colors with the Crayola Custom 64 Box!

Crayola Cooler
Dad will look "cool" at his next outdoor event with this insulated Crayola Cooler - on sale now! Limited Supply!

Father's Day Gift Pack
Send Dad a Crayola Gift Pack that includes an assortment of Crayola, Silly Putty® and inkTank™ items. Over $30.00 in value! For a limited time only.

As much as I enjoy arts and crafts, drawing, spending time with my kid, etc., I would still not want to receive Crayons or Crayon oriented products for a Holiday gift. A Kitchen Aid Mixer -oh yeah, that would make my day! But crayons? Not so much.

When's the Last Time You Done Anything REALLY Wild?

An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall.

A young man walked up to the bench and sat down.

He had spiked hair in all different colors -- Green, Red, Orange, Blue, and Yellow. The old man just stared and stared. Every time the young man looked, the old man was staring.

Finally the young man said sarcastically, "What's the matter, old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"

Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was wondering if you were my son".

Off Again Into the Wild Blue Yonder?

This photo demonstrates just a little bit about why I love Mayberry -even though I find plenty to bitch about. This is actually the view of outer Mayberry on the way back from the SMALL CITY.

Squashed Flat and Ripped Open

Yeah -that's the state of my duct work in the attic. I even have pictures courtesy of my friendly neighborhood Crane Comfort Specialist -who was sent out to give us an estimate via Home Depot. The unit is shot. I need everything new including duct work and pipes. I am not a happy camper. The estimate seemed extremely high -$7750 for a 3 ton unit and duct work. The rep as much as admitted that theirs is one of the most expensive companies. F****IN' SEARS still hadn't called me back about coming out to do an estimate -even though their website offers 24 hour emergency service -yeah, right -my a**.

Look at the lovely duct work shots:

Dancing Triceratops and Albino 'Gators

I had the strangest silliest dream the other night. At first it seemed very real -it was incredibly vivid. The colors were so crisp, so clear. Let me tell you about it.

The dream begins and I am in my living room. I walk over to the sliding glass door and look down. In the track where the screen door usually sits (I just took that out on Sunday morning to replace the screen) was a four foot Albino Gator -apparently the screen track had widened to about 18 inches deep. It really seemed so real still -even though I've never seen a gator near our home (knock on wood). Next thing I know I look out the other sliding glass door and the whole yard is full of gators. The yellow green swampy water comes right up to the edge of the track in the door and their are dozens of gators.

In that moment, during the dream, I remember thinking to myself, "Hey, wait a minute. We've never had gators out there. Where did all that water come from? This can't be real."

Then, I looked up and saw Triceratops -about a dozen of them lined up eating greenery (were they plant eaters?). Then I was thinking, "HOLY SHIT! Dinosaurs! Nobody's gonna believe this!" I apparently still hadn't accepted that this was a dream. When I looked again at the dinosaurs, they were all holding pink or purple pencils and kind of dancing. It wasn't any regular dance; it was kind of like a line dance. They were all doing this little step forward, dip, step back.

Then I woke up. Eventhough it's pretty silly at the end, I just wonder if there's any significance to it. I haven't dug out the dream interpretation book yet, but I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments. As of right now I have both Haloscan and Blogger Comments turned on -since Haloscan has totally sucked lately. Feel free to use either one or both. I'm going to get another cup of coffee before the AC guy gets here.

blah blah blah

Tom Cruise Katie Holmes Nicole Kidman Britney Spears pregant again Kevin
Federline Billionaire Bachelors Michael Jackson -uugh are you kidding
me? I'm so bored. Digital Photography Kodac Easy Share Hewlitt
Packard Dell Compaq American Idol Sucks. Lost is a ridiculous excuse
for a television show. Regis and Kelly Brook Shields Postpartum
depression Christian Scientists Tom Cruise

Angel Face

This Rose is an Angel Face -when I bought the bush, the roses looked more greyish lavender. Now (I suppose due to my soil, or the type and amount of minerals in my water) they look more pinkish purple.

There was just the slightest breeze blowing, so the pic looks blurred. It's not the camera's fault, but it might be mine. Even though the breeze was blowing, if I'd used my brain I would have changed the camera setting to auto, which would have changed speeds and given me a good clear image. What a Dink I am.

Well, I'm pretty much pissed off and aggravated. Sure blogger changed and updated and made some things nicer, but for the past couple of days I haven't been able to post because their changes left them incompatible with my browser. I now have to sign on to Netscape in order to access blogger. If it's not fixed within the next week or so, I'm probably leaving here for greener pastures. I'm very annoyed and really don't have much of value to say today. If anyone has any suggestions, please leave them in my comments below.

Note to Self: If you actually do get your whole entire house breathtakingly sparkling clean, instead of sitting around blogging and reading blogs, you will find yourself marvelously free and delirious with the joy of having absolutely nothing to do -especially if you also prepped dinner yesterday so that all that waits to be done is the grill lit, the pasta salad tossed and the chicken burnt -er grilled.

YES, I am posting at 6 am on a Sunday, when I normally would be sleeping, but I'm too hot and too worried -on Mothers Day no less. Something wonky is going on with our air conditioner -of course that would happen the night before we're expecting guests AND on Mothers' Day when I can not tolerate heat and it's going to be 90 degrees.

It still sounds like it's running, but it's not getting any cooler in here. AND, last night when I climbed up on the bed and put my hand in front of the vent, air was coming out, but the air was almost warm. For the past week it was making slightly more noise than usual and hubby said it had been running more than usual. Do you think it's broken? Would it be worth fixing d'ya think or are we better off getting a new unit? If we get a new unit, who's best -Sears, Lowes, Home Depot?

Please say a Mothers' Day prayer that my air conditioner will suddenly start working again, or that it's something minor and we can find someone to fix it cheaply. When it's not one thing, it's definitely another.

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY!

Well, this is all the post you're getting for today, because I've procrastinated as always and now have about 2 million things to do before we leave a child's birthday party in an hour. After that it's church and then come home, choke down dinner, and run my family in to the BIG CITY to shop for my Mother's Day Gift. So much for relaxing on Mother's Day Weekend. Then tomorrow we're having our first official cookout in the new house. Blogger's scheduled to be down for a few hours tomorrow, apparently for a new and improved version. I'm looking for some great side dish recipes to go with the pork roast I'm making Monday. Feel free to make suggestions in my comments.

Gotta go. Gotta vacuum and then wrap gifts. Ooops, one more thing. I've hit 1000 visitors. I haven't had a chance to look yet, but later I'll let you know who visitor # 1000 is/was.

My latest Top 20 Searches, with their scores following -I think the higher the number the better. Can anyone explain that to me? I've taken the time to colorize my favorite one/the newest ones:

Kevin Federline pictures (Yahoo)
4
princess di dying (Google)
3
i am invisible (Google)
2
Kevin Federline photos (Yahoo)
1
Kevin Federline pictures (Google)
1
kevin federline pictures with britney spears (Yahoo)
1
ocala florida horny housewife (Google)
1
pictures%20of%20britney%20spears%20and%20kevin%20federline (Yahoo)
1
orchid farms indian distributed pics (Google)
1
%22adult diapers%22 site:blogspot.com (Google)
1
princess di dying photos (Yahoo)
1
%22Fahrenheit 911%22 Disney boycott (Google)
1
%22I lowered my cholesterol%22 I%27m telling everybody (Google)
1
%22Married%22 %22Plant City%22 %22hotel%22 %22affair%22 %22sex%22 (Google)
1
%22trading spaces home free%22 %2B %22winner%22 %2B %22 taxes%22 (Google)
1
acme invisible archer (Google)
1
britney spears and kevin federline (Google)
1
britney spears and Kevin Federline pictures (Yahoo)
1
dying princess (Google)
1
Edwin Binney%2C birthplace (Google)

Darn, after I pasted it I realized that one of the search results that really knocked me out has disappeared and I'm too lazy to go back to blog patrol to get it again. So, I'll just tell ya what it was: (and it was worded exactly like this) "Is Kevin Federline a black guy?" I honestly don't know if he's a black guy or not, and in the scheme of things, does it really matter? I'd be willing to be somebody told this searcher that Kevin Federline is black and so this person just doesn't trust whoever told him/her and came to check it out for his/her self.

Oh, and BTW, did anybody read my blog yesterday? Was that too heavy? Was everybody thrown by that? I'm trying to use this blog to work on my writing, so feedback is helpful and appreciated.

BLOGGER IDOL ENTRY Week 15


As the music fades out, she gets up from her warm comfy chair and almost jumps across the room to the DVD player.

"That Halle Berry was something else. 'Gothika' indeed," she thinks to herself, "Damn it's dark in here." She flips on the spots over the fireplace. "Why do even the most familiar comfortable places feel so foreign and shadowy after a good thriller?"

She mutters to herself, "I better find something on TV Land so that I can settle down and get ready for bed," and after placing the DVD back in its box, she searches for the remote and begins flicking through the channels.

"Please let me find an episode of 'Leave it to Beaver' that I haven't seen 10,000 times before," she mutters while flipping through channel after channel of infomercials and crap. She stops at 301, TV Land.

"Damn. Just my luck. Try to take my mind off being scared and what do I find but the one episode of 'Leave it to Beaver' that he's home alone and scared. Phhhhh," she sighs in resignation.

Just then, a noise. She swivels her head toward the kitchen. Nothing. "Darn Cat. Never keeps still," she grouches and turns her attention back to the Swiffer commercial, "Oughta get one of those. I hear it kills cats. Tch."

Again, the noise. Thump, thum, thu. And she jumps that time. Mutes the television. Listens intently. Nothing. Silence. Absolute quiet. But wait, that sound's not coming from the bedroom. In a single motion she's up from her seat on the sofa and hurrying to the bedroom. All is quiet. She listens at the door for another beat and turns back to her show, but even as she turns she hears it again, but it's different this time. Tip, tap, tup. Ratt, ratt, rattttttttlle. "What the hell?"

She turns back to the bedroom door, pushes her hand cautiously against it. Then turns and runs to grab the baseball bat that leans in the corner of the foyer. Running on tiptoe she again approaches the door. Stealth is her middle name. She trips over the modem cord and goes crashing through the door into her room. She jumps up. Looking everywhere at once, she flicks the light switch. She listens. There it is again. Thip, thipp, Thipppppp, Ratt Rattttl Ratttttttttllllle. It's coming from that closet. She tiptoes over. In absolute terror now, she rips the door open. It falls on her. "Oh God. NO!!!"

She struggles up and throws it to the floor. It's her worst fear. It refused to stay locked up in the closet. Some skeletons just won't. Now she's there again. She's shaking. Sobbing. She feels like she's losing her mind. Another disconnected flashback. Although she's tried and she's not even sure she wants to, she's never been able to remember all of it. And maybe that's the greatest blessing.

"Why did you do that to me Daddy?" "I was your little girl." "You never should have touched me like that." "Now I have to live with your secret." "Your secret ruined me." "You died; went away from it all." "Left me to keep your secret." "Who wants to talk ill of the dead?" "Everybody still thinks you were 'Mr. Nice Guy.' They ACTUALLY called you that. What a secret. Nobody knew."

Some secrets should never be kept. Healing can only come with the revelation. Sometimes secrets are not your own, but still they imprison you. My humble submission to you my readers for this week's Blogger Idol.

Search Results of the Day:

%22adult diapers%22 site:blogspot.com (Google)

%22I lowered my cholesterol%22 I%27m telling everybody (Google)


Jeez, you'd think I was a bed wetting old hag or something based on the results of searches leading to my blog.

PS: TGFC (Thank God For Coffee -black and steaming hot in the biggest cup ya got) -and occasionally, TGFMcD, but only when you've managed to leave the house without your coffee and been doing your errands already for an hour and a half and you're starting to get cranky.

CINCO DE MAYO -The Fifth of May

OK folks it's time for your cultural lesson of the day. CINCO DE MAYO is NOT -N-O-T NOT a huge holiday in Mexico. It is NOT the Mexican Independence Day (that takes place in September -the 16th to be exact. All that it IS is a day commemorating the victory of the Battle of Puebla (a state in Mexico). It is only important to people from Puebla, and even most of them could care less. What the day really is is another excuse for people who are already Alcohol Challenged to drink some more. This holiday actually gained popularity in the US with a great big push from the makers of Corona.

If you still want to celebrate with some awesome drinking and partying -whatever, but let's drop the pretense: a) the majority of the revelers are not from Puebla, or even Mexico b) if you want to drink, go 'head and drink but don't call it a celebration, don't think you're being culturally enlightened, and for God's sake and all of our sake, do it responsibly. Either stay home or don't drive and don't get carried away and overindulge and annoy and puke on the people around you.

(STEPS OFF OF SOAPBOX) That's all now go back to whatever you were doing -except for you. That's just gross. You can't do that here. Get the heck out. Have a nice day everybody else. =D

The information appearing below in orange I copied from the Drudge Report I was watching the Discovery Times Front Page last night and learned that Disney will not be releasing Michael Moore's film now due to political pressures from the Bush camp. Well, in my book, if you bow to the Bushes (a task for which they must be on their knees) you go on my sh*t list. Disney can go to hell for all I care. I advise a boycott of Disney and I advise a letter, e-mail, rant whatever be sent off to Disney right away letting them know that bowing to the Bushes will get them no where fast. I would have expected better from Mickey Mouse, but then George Bush is a cartoon anyway. Honk if you think George and Disney both suck.

XXXXX DRUDGE REPORT XXXXX SUN MAY 11, 2003 17:32:04 ET XXXXX

MICKEY MOORE: DISNEY TO FINANCE NEW BUSH-BASHING DOCUMENTARY

DISNEY's modern-day magic kingdom has room for all: Now joining Mickey and Minnie and Pooh bear and Goofy -- is Hollywood badboy Michael Moore, the DRUDGE REPORT explains.

The WALT DISNEY CO. is set to spend millions financing a new explosive Bush-bashing documentary from Michael Moore [BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE] -- a documentary which claims bin Laden was greatly enriched by the Bush family!

DISNEY, via subsidiary MIRAMAX, has agreed to cover the production costs, said to be in the millions, of Moore's planned FAHRENHEIT 911.

"The primary thrust of the new film is what has happened to the country since Sept. 11, and how the Bush administration used this tragic event to push its agenda," Moore explains.

FAHRENHEIT 911 will be released during the upcoming presidential election cycle. [More Moore in '04.]

The director claims he will document on film how the "senior Bush kept his ties with the bin Laden family up until two months after Sept. 11."

Moore will also scrutinize, in graphic detail, why America is so disliked abroad.

With DISNEY financing now secure, Moore, who once railed against corporate media interests, may appear at this week's Cannes film festival in France.

Amanda and I have been marinating our breasts all day. It's true. Go ask her.

Ah, yes, the next edition of GIRLS GONE WILD -FLORIDA STYLE

I'm so proud to live in this state. It's riddled with lunatics. We were due for a full moon so these girls ripped off all of their clothes and one even threatened to hang herself with a flag football flag. Go on read it. I know you want to.

OOOOOHHH! Look at me! I'm a bloggin' machine today! =D And a bit of a nut.

ORGAN DONATION

In case you don't already know, one of my favorite bloggers has been going through a difficult time lately. Her hubby, Mike, has serious health problems which now require a heart transplant. In addition to praying for him (and scooterdeb's peace of mind), please, if you're not already signed up, become an organ donor. Ya can't take them with ya. AND you could save a life. Remember the Titanic -Your heart goes on....only in someone else's otherwise healthy body.

Latest BIZARRE Search finding my Blog:

acme invisible archer (Google)

WHY?

Why is it that today I have absolutely no where to go and no desire to go anywhere and I'm having an amazing hair day? AND I can guarantee that the next time I do have to go somewhere and want a great hair day it will look like a dust mop exploded from the crown of my head? Freakin' A.

I mean today it took all of like five minutes and next to no effort to brush and blow it into hair perfection. Tomorrow I will fuss with it, gel it, spray it, blow it, fuss with it more, fluff it, beg it, plead with it, threaten to cut it, cry, sob, moan and almost rip it out in handfuls and it still will not do a repeat performance. Damn.

In case you guys didn't have this problem last night, I'll explain my last post. I went to check my blog to see if I had any comments and found that my blog had disappeared off the face of the web. I republished and republished. I logged in over and over again, but to no avail. Finally, in frustration, I created the post below. I hit post and publish and miracle or miracles my blog reappeared.

Anyway, as promised, I will be posting the Recipe for Stuffed Shells here today:


Stuffed Shells

15 oz container part skim Ricotta
1 Lg. Egg
2 c. Shredded Mozzarella/Provolone/Parmesan/Romano Blend
1 tsp. Nutmeg
1/2 Tbsp Parsley
4 cups Tomato Sauce (if you make your own, it's best to make it a day or more ahead so that it's cooled when you use it.
3/4 c. Shredded Mozzarella/Provolone/Parmesan/Romano Blend
1 lb Package Jumbo Pasta Shells (I prefer Barilla)


Boil Shells for about 10 minutes. While Shells are boiling poor a small amount of sauce into the bottom of a 13X9 inch baking dish, enough to cover bottom and maybe 1/8 to 1/4 inch deep. Combine first five ingredients, mix with fork. When shells are ready, drain and rinse in cold water. Discard broken shells (or save for a dish of broken pasta w/ Sauce). Preheat oven to 350. Fill shells with ricotta mixture, approximately 1 1/2 TBSp per shell. Place shells into dish, 4 or 5 per row until you've filled the pan. Drizzle remaining sauce over shells. Sprinkle with remaining 3/4 c. Shredded cheese mixture. Cover pan with foil -tented to prevent cheese from sticking and bake for 40 minutes. Remove foil and bake an additional five minutes.

Serve with green salad and bread. Plan on approximately 6 shells per adult. 4 per child. Double recipe if leftovers are desired. Triple for additional meal (so you don't have to cook on the weekend).

Why does blogger have to do this to me tonight?

"They belong to no one."

Instructions:
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.

I'm only posting this because I actually like this sentence. Please, if you're going to go on with it, post your sentence in my comments too. Thanks.

HERE are my latest search results

Don't ask how they come up with my site on these, but there they are...



princess di dying (Google)
2
binney %26smith (Google)
2
Edwin Binney%2C birthplace (Google)
1
ocala florida horny housewife (Google)
1
sarasota florida quilts darling (Google)
1
steven seagull birthdate (AOL)
1
the invisible elbow (Google)
1
orchid farms indian distributed pics (Google)
1
%22Married%22 %22Plant City%22 %22hotel%22 %22affair%22 %22sex%22 (Google)
1
%22trading spaces home free%22 %2B %22winner%22 %2B %22 taxes%22 (Google)
1
britney spears and kevin federline (Google)
1
dying princess (Google)
1

State of my State

It's rainy outside. The ground is very wet. My happy little plantlings will go on growing unaided by my continually deteriorating knees bending to water them agonizingly slowly from recycled Spring Water gallon jugs. I will kneel no more at the spicket filling gallon after gallon and trudging through row after row of melons, tomatoes, and hot peppers. It rained Friday night. It rained Saturday afternoon. It rained Saturday night. It rained this morning. It looks like it will rain again later today. All is right with garden world.

April Showers, my ass! It took May rolling around to produce some actual rain, rather than just some threatening looking gray clouds and bummy humid weather. I'll vote for the May Showers everytime.

NOW, if only the damned squirrels, armadillos, stray cats, caterpillars, grasshoppers, locusts, etc. would leave them alone, we might be rewarded with the fruit of our labors.

MAY DAY, MAY DAY Does anyone remember May Day? Well, crap slinger that he is, G.W. changed it to Loyalty Day:

NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim May 1, 2003, as Loyalty Day. I call upon all the people of the United States to join in support of this national observance. I also call upon government officials to display the flag of the United States on all government buildings on Loyalty Day.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this thirtieth day of April, in the year of our Lord two thousand three, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and twenty-seventh.

GEORGE W. BUSH Why do I get the urge to vomit everytime I read that name?


BTW, If anyone's still interested, I'm still accepting the three questions. You just have to make sure you hold up your end of the bargain (scooterdeb, this means you)and post the same invitation to your readers. If you need more details scroll down to Thursday's post where I originally posted the invitation. I was really surprised that a couple of my regular readers haven't participated.

Oh, and a couple more things. Much thanks to Haddocktwat for the linky lovage in his post the other day. And, I can't believe I missed it, but I've been meaning to post a link to Desert Viking who has a pretty cool blog and has been reading me and I her for a while now. Also, if you haven't checked out my links on the right hand side of the template, you're missing out on quite a lot of good writing. Go on check 'em all out, just make sure you come on back here. Happy Saturday!