AM I FREAKIN' INVISIBLE OR WHAT?

Friday, July 02, 2004

Let me let you in on a little secret...

Eventhough I'm actually pretty intelligent, I have my airheaded moments. And sometimes I realize my mistake right away -or someone points it out to me rather swiftly (sadly, often enough it's my I'm-going-to-be-9-in-only-41-days-Mom son). Of course I'm red faced and vow everytime that next time I will think things through before blurting things out or tilting my head to the side and saying in my best airheaded bubbly voice, I don't understand?" And yes I meant that question mark. I hate admitting when I don't get something, but it's worse when I would have gotten it if only I'd engaged my brain before speaking.

What's really amusing about this is that my husband doesn't always pick up on my airheadedness. Hubby wasn't born here and is still learning alot of our expressions (eventhough we've been together 7 years, you'd think he'd know everything by now, wouldn't you?), especially since we've moved to the South and there are a whole new bunch of odd little sayings people use down here.

So last night he comes home and while we're waiting for dinner and he's telling me about his day, "Rock crusher...and when I was running the drag line...and John said...and the cable broke so I...and I told Tim...", I guess you can tell I pretty much tuned out most of it. Half of it is Lime Mine tech crap that I only half understand (which is already twice what I ever feel the need to understand) and the other half is the same stuff he runs on and on about everyday. Then he says, "Honey, do you know what that means? People around here catch frogs?" Of course there was more before that, but I'd kind of been only half listening. I did my usual reconnaisance, "Who said that? And is that exactly what he said?" Which means he repeats everything and I don't have to admit to tuning half of it out. He says that Tim (or somebody who knows?) was telling him about a guy that used to work there. Then hubby says, "The guy said, 'Yeah, but he ended up leaving.' and so I (hubby) asked him why and he said, 'He was really good at catching frogs and now he's gone."

Last night, dingbat that I was, I said, "Oh, maybe there's a lab around here that buys frogs if you catch them. I wonder how much they pay?" And I was thinking of the 82 zillion frogs and toads all over our yard -tons of them. You can't even move anything without the jumpin' out at ya. Last night I unscrewed the top of the patio light to replace the bulb and three of them little suckers jumped toward my face. I almost fell off my stepladder. But I digress...

Of course hubby thinks I'm brilliant and I know everything (I trained him so well!!!) so he didn't give it much more thought. But this morning while I was cleaning the house, I thought about it. I knew what this guy was saying. He was saying that the moron who used to work there wasn't good for anything but catching frogs -that the guy wasn't too bright. Why didn't I pick up on that last night? Well other than airheadedness my only possible explanation was that I'd disengaged my brain.

So now you have it folks, a new Mayberryism and it's not even Monday. The next time you're speaking of some useless dipshit just say, "Oh him? He's real good at catchin' frogs and that's about it."

Okay, I'll have to catch ya later. I've got promises to keep and frogs to catch before I sleep. And frogs to catch before I sleep.

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