AM I FREAKIN' INVISIBLE OR WHAT?

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

I have a love/hate relationship with...

my hair. I know. I know. I know it sounds silly to refer to my hair as having anthropomorphic properties, but it's true. My hair has a freakin' mind of its own.

It doesn't matter what hair cut, the shampoos, conditioners, or styling products that I pamper it with. I've done everything from pampering and babying it by using little to no styling product to torturing the heck out of it with blow dryers, curling irons, perms, highlights, temporary colors. You name it and I've probably tried it at some time in my 30 odd (yes, they were pretty odd indeed) years.

There are only four times when my hair ever looks good: (1) At the hairdresser, (2) For no more than three minutes after I fix it, (3) When I have nowhere to go and no desire to try going out anyway (4) Immediately after my hair overhears me making an appointment with my stylist -and for every day until I go to the stylist.

What's particularly interesting about instance (4) is that if I should cancel my appointment because my hair has been looking just too perfect to cut/perm/lighten/whatever it will immediately begin to taunt me again. An odd flippy little curl here. Hair curling under where it should be curling up. Too flat. Too fluffy. Frizzy as heck. Flips to the right when it should flip to the left. Hangs straight down when it's meant to wave gently down over my eyebrow. Parts itself down the middle, eventhough I ALWAYS part it on the side. Too straight. Too curly. Too wavy. Won't wave. Escapes every hair fastener known to woman kind -though I have considered Super Glue or Gorilla Glue on occasion. Just hangs there heavily. I think you get the picture.

So here I am again. At war with my hair. Just had it trimmed a couple of weeks ago. It's already acting up. But what can I do? I can't go cutting off my hair to spite my ....hair. It's a love/hate relationship. It really is.

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