Sunday, March 14, 2004

Where to start... Where to start... Donde puedo empezar?

Well, I've been a fairly lazy blogger this weekend. Lazy blogger = Very Busy Housewife Been doin' all kinds of domestic chores and church obligations. Then after Mass today, we decide to take a run up to Ocala -the only place in our world that there is anyplace worth shopping, which is situated approximately 3 kajillion miles (okay, okay; I mildly overstated it.) Actually, under normal circumstances, it's about a 45 minute drive at about 85 mph. Only today, the Snowbirds, Brake Testers, and Oglers insisted upon slowing it down to a rather excruciating 10 to 20 mph for about 2/3 of the trip. Needless to say I was ranting and raving and generally verbally abusing all of the morons that insist upon hanging back ten freakin' car lengths so that every other car in America had to keep jumping up there in front of us, because, really people a two hour drive just really perks one up on a Sunday afternoon in 80 freakin' degree heat!!!!!!!!! Though, to be fair, I had the AC crankin' steadily the whole torturous time. But, I whine too much.

It actually wasn't as bad as it might have been because I'd brought along snacks so that we didn't have to stop for lunch (I just wanted to go, get what needed getting and get home -foolish, foolish girl I am!!!). But I haven't told you the best part of it all. The whole time we were sitting there I kept saying, "Really, we shouldn't be upset and complain. After all, we have our snacks here, we used the bathroom right before we left the house, and it's got to be way worse for whoever had that accident up (thinking that the police must have closed a couple of the lanes ahead because of some monstrous 3 car pile up) there that's holding us up (I was trying desperately to be a good, patient, caring Catholic girl). We should pray for them, really, that everything will be okay."

Well, about 980 hours later, traffic started moving again so I relaxed and was all kinds of happy, but all we saw were people pulled over at the side changing a tire and another one whose car appeared to have overheated. WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE?!?!?! WHY DO THEY HAVE TO SEE EVERYTHING?!?!?! MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHAT DO THEY THINK THEY'RE MISSING?!?!?! EVEN BETTER, DON'T THEY HAVE ANYTHING PRESSING TO DO?!!?!?!?! WHY IS NOSINESS THE PERFECT EXCUSE TO HOLD EVERYBODY UP FOR THE ENTIRE AFTERNOON??

We actually were going real well again for about ten minutes when they (I shit you not) did it again!!!!!!!!! At this point, I had not only blown my fuse, but my gasket too! But, I said, "OOOHHH, that accident must be up here and it's stop and go. (Really, they don't get much more naiive than I) Once again, we get up there and somebody is pulled over doing I don't know what -but there's no freakin' accident in sight, no bits of pulverized glass and other debris, NADA, nothing, zip, zilch. Now, don't get me wrong, I didn't want anyone to have an accident today. I would really prefer that no one ever have an accident anywhere, ever, NEVER; however, I am more than a little perturbed that these DING DONGS must drop speed from 80 mph all the way down to 10 mph in 3.2 seconds. Good thing we put new brakes on the car a few weeks ago. As it is, poor hubby nearly flew through the windshield, and that was WITH his seatbelt on!!! I can't believe the airbags didn't deploy -really, I know I have a tendency toward exaggeration, but it was literally 80 one second and 10 the next. I was convinced that I was going to be joining Grandpa in the rear of his Honda! Thank God that didn't happen.

Needless to say, I'm in no hurry to make another trip to Ocala in the near future. Plah. I'm still disgusted. IQ tests should be a part of the Drivers' Licensing process. Ay ay ay.



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