MY BLOGGER IDOL "LETTER TO A CELEBRITY"


March 15, 2004

Mr. Antonio Banderas
1 Studly Way
Hollywood, CA

Re: Your correspondence date 3/11/04

My Dearest Antonio:

Querido mio, Regrettably I must turn you down. I cannot run away with you to the South Pacific to live on your island and be waited on hand and foot night and day. The offer is tempting as I sit looking into my kitchen sink with its pile of dirty dishes, but there's a strong, handsome, funny, and silly man who would miss me terribly. And I would miss him too. Perhaps you don't realize this, but there's something quite sweet and heart warming about shared memories, overlooked faults, and silly ridiculous jokes. Even if you could give me endless hours of passion, I'm sure you couldn't give me that.

Though your smile ignites my most lustfull feelings, one look from my husband instantly melts my heart. Though I find you unbelievably attractive, sexy and funny -a lethal combination, I find my dear, sweet, hard-working husband so much more so. As I glance at the worn-out carpet in the living room, I know your bank account could build me a new mansion or two, my husband's work ethic makes him a better man -and builds his muscles well beyond your scrawny build.

There's more to my man than just a pretty face. There's a smile in his eyes. An understanding in his heart. And a knowledge in his touch. Lo siento, but you could never give me all of that. Ours is a marriage of souls. So, cara mia, you must move on. Find someone else. I am not for you. I know it will not be easy to forget me, but try.

Con cariño,

HR LADY