AM I FREAKIN' INVISIBLE OR WHAT?

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

The Pregnancy Chronicles: Chapter Two

I can usually (I can't say "usually" quite strongly enough) fight off the nausea before it goes full blown vomiting. I'm tired. And this baby doesn't want me to eat almost anything. Every little thing seems to be bothering me. I'm probably eating half the amount that I normally would. I just feel so full so quickly.

And then there's the dark underbelly of the first trimester -GAS! Ugh! When it's not trapped inside making me feel miserable, it's wanting to release as soon as I'm either out in public or on the telephone. I'm not one who enjoys unwanted attention. And EVERYTHING is making my stomach feel all acid.

Then there are the lovely pluses -I feel (and this may sound goofy to some people) so connected with the world. I feel so much more loving and affectionate (and moody and weepy and whiny, too). I feel even closer to God than ever before. I feel so full of hope and at the same time worried to death for the little life inside of me.

I also feel terribly panicky. Like constantly worrying that something awful is going to happen to my husband or my self or even our other pumpkin. I'm worried that at 32 going on 33 I'm getting so old to start the old diaper changing, nursing, potty training, when do they eat solid foods again, teething, awake half the night thing. Big brother is already at the age where he pretty much can take care of himself -fix his own lunch, iron his own clothes, bathe and dress himself, entertain himself, wipe his own rear (I don't think he'd enjoy me making references to his bathroom habits, but then he'll probably never read this).

I need to get registered at Target.com and Penneys.com because I'd about given up on ever having another baby. Big Brother is going to be 10 this year. All I have left is a crib and a handful of little boy outfits. I don't even have a bunch of friends of child bearing age around here. Most of my friends here are of retirement age.

One more big scary worrisome thing -we don't have insurance. Insurance at hubby's job is $250/wk -way more than we can afford. We probably earn too much for any other kind of coverage and the school doesn't offer insurance to substitute teachers AND I won't be working after the baby comes. I'm trying not to worry. I'm trying to rest in the Lord. I'm trying to put all of my faith in God. I know He will provide, but I am only human, so I'm ocassionally flipping out. I think that's normal.

Thank you everyone for all of your well wishes. We're very excited about the new baby. I'll try to be more frequent with "State of the Belly" addresses. Have a nice day -Incidentally, It's freakin' freezin' down here. 30 at night. IN FLORIDA! I'm lovin' lighting a fire every night and snugglin' under the extra comforter. Sadly, the cold will all too soon give way to 80 degrees AGAIN!

Take care everyone. Keep warm.

|

6 Comments:

  • Oh congratulations, I think it's like riding a bicycle, it all comes back to you once you start again. So glad to see you back in blogland. Love from your Aussie friend.

    By Blogger night-rider, at 10:50 PM  

  • you'll be fine.

    By Blogger Gorgeous Girl, at 9:07 PM  

  • I have a friend who wasn't planning on having another baby either. Just after she gave away the very last baby thing to a girl at work, she found out she was pregnant!

    As for loving the cold...wanna trade? I'll move down there and you can come to Ohio.

    By Blogger Wendy, at 9:20 AM  

  • Where are you? Are you OK? Please post soon. Missing you.

    By Anonymous Wendy Ascham, at 4:41 AM  

  • Whats happened? Suddenly there is silence!

    Are you still with us? Please update......

    By Anonymous Keith, at 7:21 PM  

  • Come on, say something.....We know you're there.....

    By Blogger Alan Coe, at 6:40 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home