AM I FREAKIN' INVISIBLE OR WHAT?

Sunday, April 04, 2004

According to AOL and Woman's World Poll Results...

Which celebrity couple most resembles your love relationship?
Bill and Hillary Clinton, who have their ups and downs: 38 percent
Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt, who keep the fire burning: 35 percent
Ricky and Lucy, who drove each other crazy: 21 percent
Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, divorced but still friends: 6 percent

All I can say is hunh? I don't know about the rest of you people, but I definitely do not relate to Bill and Hillary. I don't try to do my husbands job for him. If he were to cheat on me, he'd be lucky to live through the aftermath. If he were pathetic enough to claim that what he did wasn't sex, I'd bury him in a shipping crate full of cigars. And if I had to be publicly embarrassed by his stupidity, I'd leave him and show him that there's someone out there who does appreciate a good woman like me. As it stands, my hubby is just too good to sink that low.

Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt? I dunno. I haven't really seen much about their relationship but good looks and vacant smiles. No comment?

Ricky and Lucy? Well, if we're talking about their characters on TV, okay maybe. I doubtless make my husband absolutely nuts with some of my brilliant ideas and he still hasn't allowed me to be in the show -'course that could be because he doesn't have a show. And we have fantastic fun trying to decipher what he's "splainin'" to me, what with his accent and all. And, like Ricky on the TV show, he's loved by everyone. And like Lucy, I'm always spending way more than I was supposed to on something adorable I found while out shopping then trying to kinda hide it until he's in the right mood -definitely not on bill paying days.

Bruce Willis and Demi Moore? Well, no. NOT. Friends after a divorce. Maybe I'm just too uncharitable or lack the maturity to see it, but if he was awful enough for me to leave him or horrible enough that he chose to left me, and we were completely unable to work things through, why would I continue to have a friendly relationship? I'm just not that forgiving. AND I'm choosy about my friends. I have tons of acquaintances, but a friend is something special. Not just anybody can be my friend. And certainly anyone who helped me destroy my marriage wouldn't be on that short list.

Any famous couples to whom I can relate our marriage? hmmf. I dunno. I'd like to think we're a pretty unique couple. Are there any famous couples that the wife drives the husband absolutely nuts and the husband is supremely patient? Any famous couples that the husband is a workaholic, super faithful, and still finds time for the kid? Any famous couples that are silly and ridiculous when others aren't watching? Any famous couples where the wife is always blogging and neglects the housework about 40% of the time and the husband spends most of his spare time on the yard -even right now at almost 9pm on a Sunday when he's outside planting our watermelon and cantaloupe patch, because I know nothing about growing them and I was going to plant them in a little four foot patch and what is needed is a 25 by 30 foot patch (how was I supposed to know?).

Nah, I didn't think so. They broke the mold when they made us. Limited Edition. Not available in stores. Okay, so maybe not. But we'd like to think so. And we both feel like we won the lottery when we found each other. I know it's kind of mushy, but it's true.

Tomorrow -the story of the oldest "antique" we own. Yup, I like to leave ya wonderin'.

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